Into the Fire

September 25th, 2009 by murmur

Richardson Grove, CA Sept 8-14, 2009

fire1Day 2: I watched the sun come up from my tent. Well, I didn’t really watch it come up, but I watched the light in my tent steadily progress from dark to light. I wasn’t scared anymore but I was uncomfortable. I was cold and and sore from lying still for so long. Plus, some of the air had gone out of my mattress. I did not sleep well at all. But I expected that. Not having a clock nearby was killing me! I was trying to guess the time. 6am? Maybe 7? I knew it couldn’t be later than 8 in the morning for sure! I listened to see if Robbie and Adrian were awake. They were. I could hear them moving around and trying to talk quietly. I didn’t want to be the first one out of my tent, so I waited and consequently fell back asleep.

I opened my eyes to the sound of movement. Who knows how long I had been asleep? It didn’t matter. I kept telling myself that I was on vacation and time was non-existent. Outside, Robbie was already sitting by the small fire drinking coffee. “Good morning!” he said. “Morning.” I replied and made a detour for the bathroom. I had been holding it for quite some time, which added to my uncomfortableness. Relieved and back at the camp site, I asked about coffee. Robbie informed me that some was made. I poured myself some and joined him by the fire. It was at that moment I saw Adrian run past our site. He turned his head, smiled and yelled, “Morning!” as he flew by. “How long has he been running?” Read the rest of this entry »

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Under the vagina tree (pt 3)

September 24th, 2009 by murmur

Richardson Grove, CA Sept 8-14, 2009

Day 1 (conclusion): After such a long and involved day, I know I was looking forward to getting some rest. Surrounded in darkness or what Spongebob might call “advanced darkness”, I lay very still. The owls were out already. They don’t really “hoo!” like you are led to believe when you are a kid. The first time I heard a real owl, I thought there was a coyote or dog nearby howling. Every once in awhile you were aware of the freeway in the far distance because the big semi trucks would rattle as they hugged the corners on the mountain.I thought about the day. I thought about my anxieties as well. Was it worth it? Was it really all worth it? The palm of my burnt hand was still exceptionally warm. I closed my eyes and passed out.

tents2That night I had a “lucid dream”.. Read the rest of this entry »

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Under the vagina tree (pt 2)

September 23rd, 2009 by murmur

canopy1

Richardson Grove, CA Sept 8-14, 2009

Day 1 (continued): With the fire going and the sun about to set, we sat around the fire and said nothing. I realized to myself that even though we sat in silence there was probably a fury of ideas, questions and things to do that were rapidly firing in our minds between the 3 of us. I imagine if we could actually hear the ideas coming and going within our brains it would sound like a very loud buzzing noise and then a loud CLAP! or POP! I don’t know why. That’s just what I think I would hear. But the only thing that could be heard then was the slow inhaling and exhaling of our cigarettes and Adrian’s ipod softly playing in the background. We watched the fire roar for a bit, I looked up into the canopy of the trees and felt…uneasy. I just couldn’t relax for some reason. I thought that maybe it was because I was just over stimulated today; with the riding around all over the place and those “set backs” happening, I guess it would be hard to relax. I thought this would be a good time to fix myself a drink and get dinner prepared.

Since it was our first night and it was only the 3 of us, we didn’t go too crazy with dinner. It was just hot dogs and chips or something. Last year, I think we just grilled our hot dogs on the grill we brought but this time we decided that over the open fire would be a better choice. Luckily, Robbie remembered to bring his, what I call “hot dog prod”. It’s shaped like a grill fork, with 2 tines, but it can extend and condense like those older radio antennas. Excitedly, Robbie went first. It was a little funny to watch him squatting near the fire carefully turning his hot dog around and around over the flames with a big grin on his face, almost child like. Once Robbie got his hot dog on his bun, he ate happily. I decided, when it was my turn, that it would be silly for Adrian to wait to cook his hot dog since there were 2 tines on the fork. With the request from Adrian to “burn my hot dog, please!” I knew I would have to endure the heat of the fire a little longer than anticipated. Squatting there, concentrating on the odd shape pieces of processed meat turning and turning around and around over the open flame, a meditative state came over me. The fire jumped and hissed… Read the rest of this entry »

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Under the vagina tree

September 21st, 2009 by murmur

treeRichardson Grove, CA: Sept 8th-14th 2009
My year begins in September. I still have some weird internal clock from going to school that tells me that the “new year” starts in September. Now I have a new reason to think that. I look forward to this camping trip all year long. Technically I’m still a “newbie” to camping, but I think I caught on to it pretty quickly. The idea of camping as recreation is strange. Over 100 years ago, our ancestors were “camping” because they had to. People were “roughing it” out in the wilderness to survive. I doubt they would call what they were doing “fun”. But that’s the privilege we have for living in our world now. We get to “escape” our lives for a little while, go out into the wilderness and just let our minds turn to jelly. This camping trip symbolizes many things. It’s the end of summer but definitely a new beginning. It’s a bonding experience I make with my friends. Relationships are made stronger or completely destroyed. It’s also a chance to connect with yourself; check in and recharge..

It’s difficult to walk into a situation and not have expectations. Some people can do it, I can’t. I do know better than to have the same expectations as last year, but for some reason I was a little bit anxious. There were all these things I wanted to do before we left. I wanted to get a new battery for my camera. I wanted to buy new tapes. I wanted to buy an extra first-aid kit. I didn’t pack until the absolute last minute. I don’t know what happened. I ran out of time. For some reason, this happens every so often. People have “off days”, I tend to have “off weeks”. Whenever this happens it’s concerning to me. It makes me think I am distracted for some reason; not thinking straight. And when I get like this, I make bad decisions. I try not to think about it too much and move on. I don’t want it to ruin my trip….

Day 1: Robbie, Adrian and I arrive a little after 1 pm. Thankfully, our favorite camping spot is open. We get out to stretch our weary limbs from a not so long 4 hour trip. I say “not so long” because even though it was definitely a 4 hour trip, it did not feel like one. Our conversations were kept to a minimum, we even stopped a couple of times but before we knew it, we were here. No time to relax though, there is work to be done. We start out by completely emptying out Robbie’s car. Tents, chairs, overnight bags, blow-up beds, sleeping bags, pillows, all our food, food equipment, etc. etc. Then it’s time to set up tents. It’s back-breaking work; longĀ  and tiring. From sitting in a car for 4 hours to all of a sudden lifting, hauling, bending, squatting at an elevation of about 150 m., believe me it’s hard work. After we set up our tents, we have to pull out the food and set it up into the cabinets available, so the bears won’t get to it. (There is always the threat of bears there.) Set up the grill, set up the burners, we set up everything to make our little spot feel more like “home.” About 2 hours later, we were satisfied enough to sit for a bit and enjoy a smoke. But we definitely were not done yet, there was still the matter of food and wood. We stop by this curio shop that’s carved into the mountain all the time for wood… Read the rest of this entry »

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